Terrorists in my life.

Look. You're a grown up. I'm a grown up. So grow up.

Being in a relationship, with loving parents, or parents who are together, makes you want the same thing in life. But what if it takes too much effort? What if you are seeing it deteriorating and you can't really built stilts. You know if the termites aren't gone soon, the pretty house you built would collapse?

Who are you really? A house you walk into at 6? A table you sit in at 7? A bed you sleep in at 10?

Money really controls everything. I want a clip off from the world. Maybe you made it this way. Maybe you shaped my world. And that world is imploding. And I can't stop it. I can't show you what damage you are causing if those denial eyes of yours are watching.

Are you saying I'd been living in a lie? Are you saying everything that you have done has a price tag on? Are you saying you are going to break my heart? You rather stick your neck out for terrorists in our lives? Maybe you have finally come to relisation that you have always wanted to be part of the cult.

Just because I'm now 22, I'ms able to rationsalise your thoughts it doesn't give you the right to assume I would understand.

You threw a damn mug at me. I would never, in a lifetime forgive you for the spur of stupidity that you did not regret.

I hope you are happy with the side you've chosen. Because all there's left now is time.

"I wish you the best, I guess"

This one's for you...

The only reason why even though I have had my heart brokened and I would still love again.. it is because loving and being loved, got to be the greatest feeling of all. And no one is worth you feeling the opposite.

Loop.

Why am I not surprised when this happens?

But yet I still take it personally.

Then again, it is personal.

9 to 5.

Technically, people have a 8 to 5 or 9 to 6 job. But I don't exactly know why people like to say 9 to 5.

But I do it anyway. It must be the tunes.

Well of course I've a problem when my thoughts are running a 9 to 5.

Oh. Just particular ones.

I would like to...

extend my greetings to:

Thanks. For deliberately forgetting me.
Never cease to prove me wrong.

One.

Once you commit, it comes with responsibilities. You no longer stand alone. You come as a family. Its no longer you and I. It becomes us.

You are not a child. You have surpassed your adult years. Who are they to get all you give? Do you receive their love and attention in return? Oh wait, wrong family. Hell, I don't even ask for anything. You like to give and remind me that you gave. You like to give and take it back when you feel like it, usually when I stand up for my rights. You are investing too much on the wrong mumbocracks. Bullshit if it is about 'teaching lessons'. Whatever. You would never see it or understand it. But honestly, I think you are just keeping an eye closed.

I'm sorry I am such a burden to you. Yeah, you make me feel like one.

So, don't talk to me. I don't wanna hear what you have to say. You were never on my side so don't dare ask me why.

What's out there?

There's this much I can take
____________________________|

There's this much I can take ____________________________|______________

But I can't take this much ___|______________________________________________

You are up. You are down. You are driving me friggin' around.
Get out of my world.

Okay, time to get some more work done.

Big Long Stickly Rabbit.

[Updated]

I HATE HORNBILLS. No. You do not understand how much I hate hornbills/toucan.

No. I will not google the image. Shit. It's in my head.

DAMN YOU HORNBILLS. With that huge beak of yours.. eating my flesh. Poking into my eyes. TAKING AWAY MY BUTTON NOSE.

I hate hornbills.

ANYWAY, the past weekend, I did IKEA-type of shopping. Just not in Ikea. Bought an awesome coverlet set.
In the process of getting that awesome coverlet set, Icebear, decided to be, whats the word, well call him whatever you want, _______________.

Ever been to Living Quarters? They sell this range of really creative household items. IE: Octopus as a dish scrub. Monkey peeler.
There are many others but I've been brain washed, thanks to Icebear. He held up this gardening scissors. & then I went 'SEE its really cool right these stuffs!' *gets excited*
I was poking the gardening scissors when he asked 'you do know what this is right?' & I went 'err.... *looks for name*reads TOUCAN*'

What happened after that? Lets just say, YOU SUCK HEROBEAR!

Ergh.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________________

I want a big long stickly rabbit.

*tugs*

Scrambled brains.

There are times where I am not making much sense. And I pose ridiculous questions and situations. I swear you wouldn't believe the questions I ask. But it is for a reason. And I suppose it means something to me. We all have our ideal answers and solutions. Of course realistically speaking, it is a constant miss.

But that does not define the relationship.

Yes, it does bug me. But what would you prefer?
The picture perfect or being there living its imperfections savoring the perfections?

Whatcha say?

Like I said before..

We all know what we want. Whether we've got the guts to actually do it, is a whole different story.

Stop doing the whole self convincing act. Why bother lying to yourself? It's like tuning your watch to be 5 minutes faster. Cheat self. But you actually know the real timing. Its just temporary lie.

Sucks to be a circle. Cause all circles ever do is roll around.

Gym + The Bodies that come along with it.

First thing first. No matter how cool of a girl[space]friend  I am.
I still don't do crass. Don't greet me with crude words. It may symbolise our closeness, but it creates distance and preconceived images.

Now back to our Johnny Bravo's.

I don't give two cents if you use a 'on Tuesday's I do push up and weights and on Thursday's I do ballet and yoga' technique.
I don't give two cents if a guy comes up to you and asks you how you gotten those wings.
I don't give two cents if guys are staring at you with the "he's got the bod"
I don't give two cents if you are able to press this amount of pumps.
I don't give two cents if you drink a certain type of protein shake with tablets.
I don't give two cents if you are able to build your body faster than your friend's.
I don't give two cents if you thought you never thought you could ever have that body mass.
I don't give two cents if you allocate your Wednesdays for gym.
I don't give two cents if your shirt is now too tight because you have gotten bigger.
I don't give two cents if lately you have been looking at the mirror and noticed changes.
I don't give two cents if girls are interested in you MORE now.
I don't give two cents if your boobs are bigger than mine.

I REALLY DON'T GIVE TWO CENTS ABOUT HOW YOUR DAMN BODY HAVE GOTTEN BUILT.
Gym junkies.

Let me tell you what I give a damn about:
Abs. (*scratches*)
Lean. (I like him lean. Oh yes, I like them lean.)
Strength.
No protein shake.
Do not look like a teapot(stout) because you're too built.
I like it real. (No. Not the real 'I- do- nothing- real')

Seen Taylor Lautner? Nope, not a turn on. Seen Zinedine Zidane? Oh yes. Oooo.. yes.
Basically, my point is 'I like the end product. Not the bragging bit.'

What's with turning your guns to the camera to emphasize your muscles?

Typical you.

Sigh........... you would think you know better being my one of best friend and all.
I gave up on weekends.

Think I am going to just press the IGNORE BUTTON from now on.

Simplicity.

Wishing for simplicity would be.......................

sigh.

It's not that difficult honestly. I wish it was more complicated. Then I wouldn't feel bad about it.

bahh..

2nd most annoying thing on earth.

The first most annoying thing on earth would be:

Typical Malaysian drivers.
- Only stop for their own benefit. IE: want your parking space.
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT A ZEBRA CROSSING IS FOR?

The second most annoying thing on earth is:

The Sloth.
- Talks soft and darn slow
- Just in general move real slowly but gangsta style (yupe!)

Grr...

Combustion.

I don't know how to be perfect. I don't know how life gets complicated. I don't like pessimistic. Yet I don't like optimistic. I am a difficult person. Do try to understand me. I want to be alone yet I need to feel that intimate connectivity with someone. I am ridiculously fussy but yet I adapt well. I don't try too hard but maybe I try to little. I have a short temper but yet I have high tolerance for stupidity and idiocity. I prefer things complicated than simple. I don't like to be like everyone else yet I don't want to do much to stand out. I get fed up of people who thinks pretty girls have it easy - pretty girls are judged on more and kept an eye on more. People like to watch them fall. You know how I feel but yet you don't give me what I need. I'm trying roll over white paint on black, but its going to take a while. I have had my heartbrokened and I don't play the game. I am taken for granted all the time - yes, friends are on that list. Most of the time people assume I'll be okay. That I'm cool with it. I didn't know I was/am specially programmed for such. I feel guilty. I feel angry. Is it that time already to push the reset button? I thought I just did a major one. Don't ride me so hard. Yes, I may not be a slum kid in India. I may not be a starving kid in Africa. I may not be an orphan in Haiti. But. Hey, in my books, I matter. So when you sign in your name. Play it by my books. Stop designing your own damn rules.

What's up?

So. Yeah. You broke my best friend's heart.
What the heck are you doing around the block now?

Saying that you broke my best friend's heart, would be putting it too mildly.
Try, hammered, stepped, blended, dragged through soil, spiked, shot, imploded, exploded, burst like a balloon - poked by a pin. A few examples that crossed through my mind. Best part, you did it for a whole year. Maybe two.
Okay fine, why he stuck around for that long? He was hooked (Watch HIMYM Carrie Underwood episode). Hurrah for you. Please note. WAS. Finally it ended. What? 8 months ago?

So please. Buzz the hell off.
You really have no right being around.

Don't ask stupid questions like "Do you miss me?"
But the best part was when you asked for a job at his company.

Gile cool!
Yes, I utterly dislike you for doing what you did. You would too if you met you.

Research.

According to the statistics we (mainly I) gathered, it shows that you require less amount of care/compliment/love/whatever-that-is-nice dosage in order to maintain a steady heart rate and brain functionality.

But have you done your research?

Trust me?

What's the value of trust?
Can you really trust a person?
Can I really trust a person?
Have I really told someone my story?
Everyone still get bits and pieces of my story. Though you managed to get it all.

Today there was a moment where I went "should I just do it?" Do what? I wanted to ask "what's your problem?" If I said "how could you betray me?" Does that sound so highschool? Probably. I recall a sentence from a tv series that went "Do we ever grow out of it (high school)?" & the answer was "No.. I guess not." Regardless of that fact, you do suck btw.

'Don't say I didn't warn you, I may just break your heart.'
No, that's not coming from me.

Getaway.

Alright. Lets talk about my weekend.
I thought Remember Me was a nice romantic film. Haikal was talking about it the previous night, he kept tempting a bunch of us. He said this is a movie he would watch. And.. he hardly ever says that about a rom film.
Got in the cinema sat down, I asked him about it > okay tell me what's so good about it?
Then he said > *more nonsensical temptation*
And I went > okay fine.. is it as good as Dexter's?
Which he replied > YES.
AND I EMOED..!!!!

Whattttttttttttttttttttttttttttt... you take me to see a DEXTER-smacks-you-in-the-face-with-the-ending-type-of show?
Thanks Haikal. Of all weekends.

Then.. I decided to compensate my feelings by watching Up In The Air. Oh yeah, George Clooney being in the movie, didn't help.

And of course Haikal was really amused at my choice of movies and how it all depressed me.
*search for another movie*

Hi Monday!
It's not that I don't look forward to you. It's just funny how I don't despise you.
It is going to be an eventful week.

Meanwhile, I do agree with myself that I constantly dig my own grave.
It's about time I stop.

Quotes:

No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.

Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is important that you do it.

A man may not always be what he appears to be, but what he appears to be is always a significant part of what he is.

3 things that I hate.

NUMBER ONE

Streamyx.

NUMBER TWO

Streamyx.

NUMBER THREE

Friggin' STREAMYX.