Marriage, Kids and A Funeral.

Are we okay?

I'm almost 22. I'm not married, I've no kids and I've attended no funerals.

Eventually, I would get married, would wanna have A kid, and would have to attend funerals.

But that would mean I've to scroll down to click on the year I was born in.

I don't like getting old.

I have ventured into the 'what comes after death' thought before. And I go blank after that. Wondering.. just uncertain. Funny how some people choose to stick to a religion or finally following it the proper way when they need something to fall back on. For me, I'm not lost in that sense. But I do not want to press on it either. I'm comfortable where I am at.

Come to think of it, I've never done anything 'wild' before or something you don't usually do every day, or do it once in your lifetime. Maybe that is why I am wallowing~~ hmhm. I asked Haikal "If you died today, would you be satisfied with the life you have lived?" His answer is yes. Reason being, at his age, he have achieve and done half of his bucket list. What about me? Would I be satisfied? Being just mediocre? I'm not aiming for the stars. And yet.

Ah.

You are not living life if you partied like there is no tomorrow with the excuse of 'you only live once'. People do that for a phase and move on. Because you are suppose to grow up and carry on to the next phase to live THAT part of your life. I wonder what my phases are. I've done my high school phase, and enjoyed it very much and don't see a point reliving it - high school dramas and blabla.. I've done my college/uni phase, and enjoyed it even more with an extent of freedom and also is satisfied and moved on. Now I'm in this monkey phase where 'know-but-yet-unsure'.

Dammit. Like I told everyone else: Everybody knows what they should/need/want to do. It's whether they've got the guts to do it.

Hard to lie to myself. You can only be in denial for so long. *frowns*